Do it Scared!

Two weeks ago, a run colleague of mine reached out to me asking if I was interested in taking her place in a 10k race she had booked for. She was unable to run this race as she had double-booked – she had a marathon booked for the same day. My first wonder was, how could she not know that the marathon in Berlin was on the same date as the 10k race in London. This 10k race is one that I had been encouraged to run since I started running almost three years ago but had not entered for it though interested. My colleague told me I did not need to pay her any money and that I would get medals (talk about favour!). In fact, it was two medals as there were two races. A one-mile race on Saturday, for which I will get a medal and the 10k race the following day with a medal as well.

Of course, I agreed to do the races; agreed to the races though I had not been consistent with my runs this year. I did not enter any race this year, not even the ones that my club organised. I have also not been regular at the club this year. It’s been one of those years but thank You, LORD.

In my thoughts, the one-mile race would be very easy for me. Afterall, it’s just 1.6k and I would smash it in no time, or so I thought. I got to the start line as others in my wave (they had to put people in different race waves due to the number of participants entered into the race), and the countdown began – ten, nine, eight, …, one, and the beagle was blown. And the adrenaline kicked in; you could hear the noise of the human steps like a crashing wave of the sea.

Before I knew it, I was feeling tired, wanting to stop and wondering as always, ‘why am I doing this?’ I felt like I was one of the last ones as person after person, those that were at the rear kept running past me. I was so tired and kept thinking, where is the finish line? When will this race finish? Is this more than a mile? This one felt longer as I would normally smash one milers; instead, this seemed like a really long and most painful one mile. When I eventually crossed the finish line, I was so grateful that I had completed it in under ten minutes. Thank You, Jesus!

Seeing as the one miler was difficult for me, this brought fear into my heart about the 10k the following day, which was over six miles. I was wondering and started considering pulling out of the race but felt stuck as I had promised this lady that I would run the race. I was scared all through the evening and throughout the night but I made a promise and I had to fulfil it.

Having no other choice, I started praying to GOD to help me. And I made up my mind that I was going to 'do it scared' (that is mantra that I adopted a few years ago, which I try to live by) and hoped that I would be able to finish the race in one hour and twenty minutes. On the morning of the race, I sent a message to my face, asking that they pray for me as I was running the race scared. I needed spiritual reinforcement.

I got to St. James’ Park on the day, took photos with my run club colleagues, did the needful, dropped my baggage and just joined the league of people running round to get that adrenaline going. I was scared but Vitality 10k, here I am.

Now, I don’t know much about running as I am a beginner but one thing I know from experience is that when you are in a race, once you stop running and start walking, that would be your trend throughout that race - starting and stopping, stopping and starting. One test of long-distance racing is endurance and that ability to endure will be tested at different levels as you progress in the race.

According to the previous day, my wave was called, we went to the start line, there was the countdown and the beagle went, more feet noises now and we started running. I always start my race on a low pace, picking up gradually, going at my own pace and no one else’s. So, I was doing my thing, and as usual, many people running past me, but I kept going and after running for what seemed like ten hours, I saw the 1k sign. I was so tired and was planning to stop running, walk for about thirty to forty seconds before picking up the race again. This would affect my race, endurance and capacity, but I did not think I had the strength to continue running.

From behind me, a white man just came in step with me. He must have been in his sixties and said to me, ‘okay, you can run at my pace,’ like a race buddy. I was like, wow! Where did this come from? According as the man had said, I just started running at his pace. We talked a little and I told GOD (in my heart) I wanted the man to stop talking as I am not very good at running and talking at the same time, so the man stopped talking. He ran with me and when we passed the 3k sign, he told me he was going to go ahead. I felt a bit disappointed that we would not finish the race together but was glad that he came in step with me at the crucial time of the race when I would have stopped.

I thanked him and off he went.

By this time, I had gained strength from enduring the first level of tiredness or weakness. Then I started speaking with the LORD in my heart. I said, with this strength I have, I can run up to 5k. When I get to the 5k sign, if I feel tired, I will stop and walk for a bit but if I still feel this strength, I will continue. LORD, help me! As I was saying this, there were three women beside me and one of them was slowing down, wanting to stop but her friends kept encouraging her not to stop but to continue to 5k before stopping. That was an encouraging cue for me as it fortified my thoughts to continue to 5k.

When I got to the 5k sign, I was happy that half was down with half the race to go. Seeing the 5k sign, I realized that I still had that strength in me, so I did not stop but continued. I said the same thing to the LORD as I was passing the 5k sign going to the 6k sign. And the same when I passed the 6k sign but added, LORD, if I feel tired when I got the 7k, I will stop but I know that once I have reached 7k, the race is completed.

I passed the 7k sign and was still able to muster strength and endurance from the inside to continue. I said the same thing to the LORD as I passed the 7k sign going to the 8k sign but then added that once I got to 9k I would not be able to stop again as I would have passed the window for stopping.

I passed the 8k sign, went past the 9k sign and I kept enduring, putting one foot in front of the other, not stopping to walk. I was tired and losing strength, but I had to keep going, and at my pace. Some people were sprinting past me but I did not care one bit. I had gone too far, endured so much to now enter a needless competition with the people responsible for their own races as I am for mine. I kept putting one foot after the other still and then the countdown signs, 800m to go, 400m to go, 200m to go and I was thinking, ‘where is this finish line?’

And then, there it was, the finish line and yes, I stepped my foot past it. All I could say was, ‘thank You, LORD. Thank You, Jesus.’ I did not care about the guy beside me who looked at me as I said that aloud. I knew the LORD helped me throughout that race.

I was hoping to finish in eighty minutes but did finish in 67minutes. I was so proud and happy to collect my medal, the hard-won medal.

There are two or three things I learnt from this race – one being the regalia that people wore to run a long-distance race. I saw people weaking a burka, full burka to run a long-distance race in the heat and I wondered if they’d be able to finish the race. That I would like to put in a movie someday.

Owning and running your race is something every Christian would be familiar with; not comparing yourself to another person, setting your face and heart to the finish line. That is a talk for another time.

The one I would like to horn in on today is doing it scared. There are so many things in life that seem like a mountain - seeming insurmountable, too big, too lofty for us to achieve. We look at it and straight away think, ‘no, not me. This is too big for me. Not for someone like me. I don’t have the capacity for this. I don’t have this; I don’t have that.’ Once we feel fear, we take our hands off. We let fear dictate how far we can go.

How about taking that big thing and its fear to the LORD in prayer. My aunt told me a long while back that whenever I am afraid, I should go to the LORD and tell Him, also telling Him what is making me afraid.

Fear is telling you that you do not have capacity to do that thing but you can tell that fear that you have Someone Bigger, Who has all capacity and He will give you the Grace and the capacity needed to do the thing, achieve that which needs to be achieved. I may be smaller than that thing, but my GOD isn’t.

It’s true that you are afraid, but have you considered that you can do that very thing that scares you?

I challenge you - Do it Scared.